I started this piece by thinking about the prayers that some people may say before going to sleep. Some prayers offer thanks for the day just ended, some offer thanks for the night, and thanks for the day about to begin. Some prayers are gentle, some are about spreading good will and health and happiness throughout the world. Some are just about getting a good night’s sleep. After reading prayers from many cultures and religions it began to feel that behind all these prayers was a universal sense of fear. There are a lot of things that can go wrong for us – we can get hurt, we can be attacked, we can do the wrong thing. During the day we can at least try to protect ourselves, but at night, while we are sleeping, we are vulnerable. We have to trust that something can protect us while we sleep, or no sleep would be possible. So I decided to divide my piece into two sections – ‘night’ is a list of things we may feel and fear about the night, and ‘sleep’ is the prayer that asks if we can be protected from those feelings and fears. I made the text for ‘night’ from how internet search engines complete the sentence “When night falls I…” and I made the text for ‘sleep’ from excerpting several traditional Jewish bedtime prayers.
when night falls I can barely see I can certainly see some people I can enter it I can feel the dread coming I can hear I can hear it in the distance I can imagine it I can light up my whole body I can move I can put on whatever I like I can see the flames I can walk out into the darkness I can watch the stars I can’t fall asleep I can’t see anything
I feel ashamed I feel hungry I feel life is getting shorter I feel lost I feel sad and alone I feel the temptation I feel uneasy I feel very much alone
I will be awake I will be released I will be with you I will complete my plan I will crawl I will defend I will figure something out I will go there I will lead the attack I will look up to see the new moon I will seek answers I will share your company again I will sneak in I will tell the stars I will tell you something I will wake up
2. sleep
when sleep falls upon my eyes
let me lie down in peace let me rise up again in peace
no evil dreams no sleep of death
no snare no sorrow no terror by night no arrow by day
no thousand at my left no ten thousand at my right
let me lie down in peace let me rise up again in peace let me find my better self
when I go out when I come in when I lie down when I rise up
in life in peace now and forever by day by night when I lie down when I rise up
let me lie down in peace let me rise up again in peace
at my right hand at my left hand before me behind me above me
